I grew in her heart, not in her tummy

I am adopted. Yes, shocking as it may be, I am. I look exactly like my mom and sometimes like my dad so people sometimes don’t believe that I am. 

Don't I look like my mom? :)

And like my pop too?

I found out when I was about 6 years old. Apparently, one day, I came home from school and asked her if I came from her tummy, because my classmate’s mom had a baby in her tummy. So she told me a fairytale. She said there was a King and a Queen that wanted to have a child so much, but a baby could not grow in her tummy. Because they had so much love they wanted to share, an angel brought them a little Princess, a gift from God. When they received this gift,they were so thankful and loved her with all their heart.  She said that I was that Princess and they were like the King and Queen. She also said that I grew in her heart, not in her tummy.

With my Pappy

With my Mommy

With my mom and pop

I have never ever felt that I was adopted. I was loved more than 100% by my entire family. I was never treated any different. Of course, as I grew up, questions about my biological parents were (and still are) coming up. Sometimes, I feel that I hurt my parents every time I ask about them, especially my biological mom, but they have been so open about it, and for that I am forever grateful. 

With my cousin, Yza and Sister Teresa, the Irish nun that helped my parents adopt me

I found out that my biological mother is full Irish and was a missionary here in the Philippines. She was about 17 when she had me and had to give me up for adoption because it was frowned upon in Ireland to have a child out of wedlock at that time. I would have an awful childhood there. I also found out that I sort of look like her. She has lighter eyes and hair and that her name is Tonet or Antoinette. I hardly ever asked about my biological father and I don’t think my parents really know who he is. But that’s really all I know. 

I wanted to find her for the longest time. I called the Irish embassy and they could not help, because I needed more information. Now that I am older, I have come to realize that if she wanted to be found, she would have made it easier for me. If she wanted to be found, she would know how to get in touch with me. She knows the name of my parents and would have had an easier time. Now, I am just leaving it up to God, if we will ever be reunited or not. She would be able to answer most of my questions about my quirks, features and biological father.

There are some things that I would really want to tell her and questions I want to ask. I want her to know that she made the right decision. I want to thank her for not aborting me. I want her to know that I’m married now and tell her about the amazing life I’ve had because she loved me enough to give me to a family that would love me for her. I want to ask her if her family knows about me. If I have brothers and sisters running around somewhere in the world and what do they look like? Do they know about me? Did she ever try to get in touch with me? What was her life like here? What was her life like after she gave birth to me? What is her life like now? Is she married? Does her husband love her as much as my pappy loves my mommy? Does she pray for me? What does she know about me? Lastly, I want her to know that I never blamed her for giving me up and that even if I haven’t met her, I love her. Giving up her child must have been one of the hardest decisions she ever had to make.

I love my parents more than anyone could ever imagine. I am so grateful to God that he gave me to such amazing parents, who gave me more than what I deserve. They gave me a wonderful life, sent me to great schools (Animo La Salle! Go San Beda Fight! — I had to put it in there :), let me travel and see the world. I don’t know how much luckier any girl could ever get. I honestly don’t know where I’d be with out them. I always tell my friends, for all we know, if I wasn’t adopted by them, I’d be selling sampaguita on the streets. 

I love you mom and pop. Thank you for the amazing life you have given me. I couldn’t have asked for more.

If you're adopted, please don't hate your parents for adopting you. Don't hate the fact that you are. Count your blessings. Be thankful that your parents adopted you. Thank your biological mom and dad for choosing life, a better life for you. Don't follow what you see on TV, like those kids running away or rebelling because they found out they were adopted. If you adopted a child, tell them. It's better they find out from you then from someone else. 

Besos,

Tina